Dear Mr. Generous Pants {satire}
Recently, I saw someone post on a forum expressing to small business owners that if someone asks them for a product, they should be all means say yes. The gentleman stated that sending products away to others is a gesture of “GOOD WILL” and that Good Will should never be discredited.
I work with lots of small businesses and many of us enjoy giving, sharing, volunteering and so on. Most of us have dipped our toes into the Good Will pool with varying degrees of success and letdown. For someone to imply, however, that shipping out products should be done simply for the Good Will of it is just a tad bit naive.
I think that Mr. Generous Pants needs a little talking to.
Dear Mr. Generous Pants:
This is your future writing.
About five years ago you started a small business. You had lost your job and needed to find another way to support your wife and kids. What to do?
You researched and studied and figured out a need in the market that had not yet been met. A-hah! You’ll start making and selling that product! You worked long and hard. Soon, you had many family members, friends and online buddies writing to you, asking if you would give them one of your products. Some of them agreed to give you feedback or write about you while others assumed you’d share simply because you love them.
Yes! Yes! you said. I want to offer Good Will! I’m Mr. Generous Pants!
You began sending out 2 products per day (because of the many requests you got… you didn’t want to say no to anyone for fear of hurting feelings!). You shipped your little heart out and felt so good about it. Your great big kind heart was overwhelmed by all that Good Will. Neighbors of your family members soon heard about your generous pants and wanted some of that action (no pun intended). Relatives in Kenya inquired, also. Hey, generous man! Can we have something, also?
Soon enough you were sending out 50 products per month, at your own cost. Each product ran you $59.99 + shipping. (The darn Kenya one ran you almost $200, though)
After six months, you needed to take out a loan for this. But you felt so good about it! You have Good Will and that counts!
The car dealership came to take your little car away because the loan payment could no longer be met. You tried hard to explain to them that you didn’t have the money because your big ol’ heart had already given it all away. You know. For Good Will. But the mean car people didn’t care. They took your car anyway!
How rude.
You decided NOT to let that stop you. Good Will matters mate. Yes, it does.
You kept shipping out those products because folks kept asking and it was against your morals to say no. So many people are selfish and only want something for themselves. You didn’t want to be like them!
A few months later the bank took your house away. You tried to tell them that this was just a big misunderstanding. Don’t they care about Good Will? That’s all you were trying to do! Have Good Will for the folks who wanted your stuff.
Why can’t others understand this?
You had counted on lots and lots of sales from the potential referrals, reviews and word of mouth, to make up for the shipments going out, but alas – that didn’t happen. Your inventory ran out, your house was gone and you didn’t even have a car to sleep in. {Your underwear was dirty, too, because they took away your washing machine.}
How did this happen? You were so kind and generous! After all, you’re Mr. Generous Pants!
No one understands you, do they? It’s just so unfair.
Here’s a brief little note from your present:
Stop telling small business owners to ship products out, willy nilly, based on Good Will.
And if you still think that Good Will matters so darn much, will you move in with Shara? She needs some of your money.
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Love it, Thanks for the laugh!
I think we all needed a laugh today!
ha ha ha so funny you are a riot:)
Now and again
HaHaHeeHeeHoHo! I’m rolling here! I’m sharing and sharing and sharing this one. When Mr. Generous Pants leaves your house, send him over to mine! I could use him for a few.
Ginger: He is MINE! Get your own Mr. Generous Pants or find his brother in law – Mr. Give Give Pants.
LOL @”that darn Kenya one” I wonder if Mr. Generous Pants also helps those poor Saudi Arabian bankers who just need his help to access the $17 million that their dying philanthropist friend left in a hidden bank account? Maybe that’s how he can afford to be so generous! =)
Well said. So true!