Make expectations clear.

Here we go again - pro-active and not reactive.

“Be good” and “behave” are just not good enough! This is wonderful language for adults, but it is in no way child-friendly.

Here are the kinds of child-oriented directives that work:

“When we get to grandma’s house, I expect you to speak softly at all times.”

“When Elena comes over, play with one toy at a time.”

“When we get home, put your pajamas on and then brush your teeth.”

You can follow any of your expectations with a positive like…

“If you speak softly at grandma’s house, we will build with blocks when we get home.”

“If you play with one toy at a time, you and Elena can go outside under the sprinkler.”

“After you put on your pajamas and brush your teeth, I will read you a story.”

What happens next?

Your child has two choices in every situation–follow the direction and get the stated reward or not follow the direction and miss it. In time your child is likely to choose to follow as many directions as possible because they bring with them many more rewards.

For this process… the most important concept is consistency. Once your child realizes you “say what you mean” and “mean what you say” you are likely to see the whole process of discipline fall into place.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Set up for Success

Time to play with this one.

There are quite a few pieces to this puzzle:

1. Before you go into a situation, plan ahead so that you will have everything you need for it to run as smoothly as possible for your child.

2. Before you go into a situation, plan ahead so that what your child is going to experience will be as child-friendly and age-appropriate as possible.

3. As you go through all your current activities, keep learning. When and if something causes your child difficult behavior, do your best to handle the behavior. Then turn your problem into good news. Tell yourself, “I can learn from this situation for next time.”

Whatever the problem was can help you plan ahead so that

     * you will have everything you need to help your child behave better in the future.

     * what your child is going to experience will be as child-friendly and appropriate as possible for the age and stage of your child.

Pillar #1 is a pillar of preparation. When you have your situations running as smoothly as possible, your child will be as well-behaved as possible. No need to discipline or be reactive when you are pro-active–guiding and supporting your child effectively!

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

Time to begin anew!!!!!!

Ohhhhh to have a well-behaved child! Who doesn’t want that!

Let’s set another goal… 15 this time. There are “15 Pillars” of parenting that can make al the differnce in the world to you, your family, and your child.

Before we start, here is today’s hint: The word discipline comes from the Latin word disciplina which means teaching. It also reminds us of a related word disciple. Desciples are those who follow the teachings of others.

Remember to model best behavior practices for your child to follow at all times.

Dr. Sally

For parenting insight…

www.drsallyparenting.com

We have reached our final day in the 13-day Parenting Difference tips list. I hope you have enjoyed the tips and have found them beneficial. Please feel free to share any feedback with us, if you so desire!

New 13-Day Theme – The Parenting Difference

Since everything you say and everything you do makes a difference, try to learn to say and do everything in the best ways possible!

For the next few weeks we will focus on successful ways to talk to your children and give you ideas for doing things that will enrich their lives. I will give you a new hint each day. We will begin with what to say and then go on to what to do.

We will start off with two, one from each category.

• Say one direction at a time and wait for it to be followed before adding on another request.

• Make a schedule for each day and try to follow it as much as you can.

7/15 Day 13 – Add extra time to your morning schedule to make your “getting-off-to-school” time to run as smoothly as possible.

Please remember to share some of your successes.

Dr. Sally
For parenting insight…

New 13-Day Theme – The Parenting Difference

Since everything you say and everything you do makes a difference, try to learn to say and do everything in the best ways possible!

For the next few weeks we will focus on successful ways to talk to your children and give you ideas for doing things that will enrich their lives. I will give you a new hint each day. We will begin with what to say and then go on to what to do.

We will start off with two, one from each category.

• Say one direction at a time and wait for it to be followed before adding on another request.

• Make a schedule for each day and try to follow it as much as you can.

7/14 Day 12 – Play soft background music in your home to aid relaxation.

Please remember to share some of your successes.

Dr. Sally
For parenting insight…
www.drsallyparenting.com

New 13-Day Theme – The Parenting Difference

Since everything you say and everything you do makes a difference, try to learn to say and do everything in the best ways possible!

For the next few weeks we will focus on successful ways to talk to your children and give you ideas for doing things that will enrich their lives. I will give you a new hint each day. We will begin with what to say and then go on to what to do.

We will start off with two, one from each category.

• Say one direction at a time and wait for it to be followed before adding on another request.

• Make a schedule for each day and try to follow it as much as you can.

7/10 Day 11 – Designate work and play areas in your home and keep each one well-equipped and uncluttered.

Please remember to share some of your successes.

Dr. Sally
For parenting insight…
www.drsallyparenting.com

Good Morning!

I just returned from a terrific vacation in Boston. During the last week in June American flags were visible everywhere. Massachusetts in general and Boston in particular are two of the most patriotic places in our nation.

The statehouse in downtown Boston glistened from its gold domed roof. Plymouth Rock stood proudly as a monument of where the pilgrims first landed in the New World.

No matter where you went, you saw flags and other red, white, and blue reminders of our great country and how it remains our “land of opportunity.”

Back here in AZ the flags and colors flew too. Barbecues and family gatherings dotted the countryside.

Our family enjoyed a traditional cookout with friends. Red, white, and blue colors adorned our tables. While we were a group of adults, I couldn’t help thinking about the golden opportunity every family was having to instill in their children important American history and pride in our country.

If you taught your child something meaningful over this holiday, please share. I am sure every mom and dad everywhere would like to get some ideas for enriching their child’s understanding of colonies, presidents, the Revolutionary War and more.

Dr. Sally
For parenting insight…
www.drsallyparenting.com

All Mommy Perks blogs will resume after the holiday weekend.

Please have a safe and enjoyable holiday and remember: if you are going to drink, please assign a sober designated driver. Keep the roads safe not only for you but for everyone else, too!