By Shara Lawrence-Weiss, owner of Mommy Perks

Not long ago, the TODAY Show ran a segment on mothers. A new book titled, “Hell is Other Parents” was featured. The author discussed the role that mothers play in creating stress for other moms.

Simply put: Mothers are oftentimes the harshest critics of other mothers.

Do you agree with this? What are your thoughts on the matter?

The show ran clips of interviews with a few moms and one of them said that another mother had come to her and said, “You should be a stay at home mom. You shouldn’t be working outside the home. Staying at home with your kids is the most important thing. That’s what a GOOD mother does.” (paraphrased)

Ouch.

In my own experience I have certainly found both terrific, and awful, mothers along my journey. Some moms are kind and gracious and always willing to dish out free advice about what worked for them…while holding back judgments if they see that other mothers are still working to ‘figure it all out.’

On the flip side, I’ve had mothers tell me how to parent my children in rude and offensive ways: “Don’t give him that! Don’t you know ANYTHING about mothering!?”

I think  it’s great to keep in mind that on this life journey we are each living, kindness goes a long way. Everyone we meet is fighting some sort of a battle whether it’s a bad marriage, weight issues, loneliness, poor role models in their own past, self condemnation, single parenthood and more. If we keep that in mind, it may help us appreciate a softer approach to those we disagree with.

If we see another mother struggling at the post office to keep track of her child, we could graciously offer to hold her packages until her name is called, rather than saying (or even thinking): “Can’t you control your kid?” If we see a mom yelling at her child in frustration, at the park, we could walk over and sit beside her and gently engage in conversation in an attempt to help calm her nerves.

Rather than make it our business to tell every mother what she is doing WRONG, we could make a point to verbalize what she is doing RIGHT. To be supportive and encouraging. A woman once came up to me at the zoo and said, “Your children are so well behaved. I just wanted to let you know that I noticed that.” She didn’t have to come and say that – but how kind! It made my day.

Why not be THAT mother?

I am going to make a point of trying to be *that* mother more often. Not only will it improve my own disposition and heart, it will show my children a happy and healthy role model who exhibits empathy and kindness to others.